A couple days before staff training, Bam BAM added me on Facebook. Now I had met her 3 years earlier so I didn’t find that part odd. It was weird because I had added her when I turned 18, and she denied me (even though every other staff member accepted me). I took that to mean she didn’t like me so I assumed she only added me because she was the assistant director and felt obligated to connect with me.
I was also terrified of her because of an incident that had happened when I was a CIT 1. The CITs had gone to her camp (now my camp, too!) to help with a Me and My Gal weekend (basically moms and their daughters) and we were helping with packout dinner. Well, when it came time to do dishes, Bam BAM dumped the soap in the warm water. We, the CITs, started to slosh the water around so the soap could get sudsy. However, that didn’t happen. The water felt thick. We turned to Bam BAM and told her we didn’t think it was soap, but she insisted multiple times that it was (and she gave us some sass that she knew for sure it was, too). After washing multiple dishes, Bubbles drove up on a golf cart. She said, “Did you guys need soap? There was an extra in the kitchen.” Bam BAM told her no and that we had some, but Bubbles looked in the dish water and said, “Are you sure? That doesn’t look very sudsy.” Bam took the empty soap container and slowly dipped in her middle finger and then brought it to her mouth to taste it. She then concluded that we did, indeed, need soap because we had oil instead. Gee, if only she would have listened to us CITs! Bubbles looked at us and said, “Who gave you guys oil?” Immediately, we all turned and pointed at Bam BAM. Bam BAM then proceeded to go off on us. She told us that we never throw another staff member under the bus and that we shouldn’t point people out. It was scary. We hadn’t meant to offend, just answer Bubbles’s question.
The next two summers I was a CIT at her camp. I spent the first summer avoiding her because I was terrified of her. At the end of that summer I sent all the staff members (including her) a friendship bracelet and letter. I asked her to email me the name of a song that was on one of her CDs that had been used in Whitetail (the arts&crafts cabin). She didn’t get back to me until May! And by that point I was surprised she got back to me at all. Of course, she had no idea what song I was talking about by then but it was still awesome to get an email from her. Plus she ended the email “Will we be seeing you at camp this summer?” I took that to mean she wanted me to come back. And her second email even said, “See you in about 2 months!” With an exclamation point! I took that to mean that she wasn’t angry with me anymore and we would be on good terms. However, anytime we saw her that next summer she would maybe say hi before running back to whatever she was doing. She was always in a hurry and seemed like she didn’t want to talk to us. I then reverted back to being scared of her and thinking she didn’t like me.
This summer that thinking changed though. As I walked up to the dining hall on my first day of staff training, I was a little nervous but mostly just SUPER excited. Bam BAM opened the door for me and said,” I knew you would be the first one here!” I didn’t know how to take that. Plus, I was still leery of her. It turned out that she was the only returning staff member so she was the closest thing I had to an ally and I was the closest thing she had to someone who knew the basics of how camp runs, how to teach camp songs, and other random camp information. Eventually it was time to move my stuff into my cabin. As everyone else headed up to the unit (the internationals had gotten there the night before and were switching cabins), I headed to my car. But then, suddenly, Bam BAM stopped and asked me if I wanted help. I didn’t really need help but I took her up on it anyway. At that moment I knew our past discrepancies wouldn’t affect camp.
By the time we reached the unit, I felt rather comfortable around her. And after moving my stuff into my cabin I even straight up told her I wasn’t scared of her anymore. She was shocked to hear that I had ever been scared of her. She had completely forgotten that she had yelled at us and she profusely apologized. She had been overtired, cranky, and exhausted from the week of campers she had had and didn’t mean to take out her anger at us. We were beginning to mend this mess and form a bond.
The next night we were in Whitetail to learn how to make lanyards. I was one of the first to sit and I hoped Bam BAM would sit next to me. When she slid in next to me on the bench I was beyond excited! As we both struggled through making lanyards, (you’d think after going to camp for so many years we’d have it down..) I realized I was having fun. Eventually Bam BAM gave up and just tied her strings in some sort of weird knot contraption thing. But she made it for me! We were officially friends! I ended up staying awake a long time talking to her that night. We ended up standing at the latrines at 3:25 AM exchanging phone numbers so that I could continue to talk to her whilst in our separate cabins since I didn’t want to go to sleep.
Then it was Friday! And she was leaving to go to Vegas for the weekend. I was disappointed. The first weekend of the summer and she was already leaving me! We ended up texting the entire weekend. I woke up so early Saturday morning (because I was so excited!) that she hadn’t even gone to bed yet! By Sunday night I was so excited that she was coming back that I sat at the window and watched for her headlights to pull in. I then jumped up and hurriedly moved to greet her and give her a hug. And trust me, Chatter hugs are a BIG deal! I don’t do touchy things often (or at least I didn’t then). That night we stayed up talking until 4:30 in the morning! We only went to sleep because Bam BAM explained the importance of a power-nap. And, I had lifeguard training in the morning.. see the previous post for how THAT went.
During our separation while I was getting lifeguard trained I realized that I missed her. A lot. I even started calling her Bamalamadingdong. I still don’t know how I thought of that- my best guess is that I was so sleep deprived I was nuts. The night that she debriefed us from training when we were FINALLY back home, I actually fell asleep laying on her leg, sitting on the dining hall floor. And for the next two weeks she made sure to coat me in aloe at least 2-3 times a day. She actually cared about my well-being and didn’t care if I liked it or not. Her favorite phrase was “I’m so mean. Hate me”. Not that hating her was even a possibility anymore.
The following week, the campers arrived! During my break the second day I spent the two hours with Bam BAM running to the council office and getting gas in the van (I kinda fell asleep while she was pumping gas…haha). That weekend the two of us took a trip to a different camp to help with a Me and My Gal overnight. We spent about 3 hours in the car together each way. Needless to say we had a lot of time to bond.
Once at the other camp, we tended to stick together. The next day I was helping with stations whilst Bam BAM was cooking and doing dishes. In the afternoon, I was on cookie decorating in the same vicinity as Bam BAM. Once all the moms and girls had gone through, I made Bamalamadingdong her own cookie. She said she liked frosting so…
As the weeks of camp flew by, my friendship with Bam only grew stronger. Several nights were spent cuddling, venting, and crying for various reasons. And, that crying thing was new for me. It was the first time I had cried in nearly seven years. But, Bam was there for me. Even after going into our separate cabins we would always stay up just a little later to talk about the day via text.
Over the course of the summer Bam had played many roles in my life- mom, dad (when she walked me down the aisle), older sister, best friend, matchmaker, and boss. I was not looking forward to saying goodbye after camp cleanup. But, the time came anyway. By the time Bam was leaving the only people left on camp were Sully and Bacon (who were riding with me) and Rev (who wasn’t leaving until I did). I watched as Bam said goodbye to Rev and Bacon. Then, she paused, equidistant from both me and Sul, and she looked at both of us. I shook my head at her. I was not ready to say goodbye. After saying goodbye to Sul, she eventually made her way over to the desk, which I was sitting on, and wrapped her arms around me. At that exact second, I lost it. I couldn’t remember a time that I cried harder. I really did not know what to do with myself and I didn’t let go for a long time. During this embrace Bam tried to distract me and make me stop crying by jokingly saying it was my fault for being too young to work at camp the previous year, telling me “it doesn’t work this way” and I couldn’t just cry, and the part that made me cry harder was when she said, “but you’ll be back next year” and I had to respond with, “but you don’t know if you’ll be”. That was one of the rawest emotions I had ever had. I had no idea if I would see her again and actually just writing this makes me tear up.
I never suspected that Bam and I would be so close. Heck, I barely assumed we would be friends. I started camp terrified of her and I ended camp like a child that is overly attached to their mom- never wanting to let go and let her leave. And honestly, I think the only place you can even have a friendship like that is at camp.
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